


Lost Innocence

by sergeanthax



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-06-01 00:40:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6494056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sergeanthax/pseuds/sergeanthax
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frisk didn't know what the future held for him. He'd nearly died twice now, and was only saved the second time out of another's kindness. At least he now had someone to protect him, though perhaps there are others who need the protection more...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost Innocence

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this little story! This is a sort of prequel to my story "Forgiveness", but it stands just as well on its own as a short story. Just as a warning, there are suicide themes in this story, but I tried to keep it from being graphic. Feel free to comment with thoughts, suggestions, or if you think I've earned it, praise.
> 
> Enjoy the story!

Frisk walked through the stone archway. Past it, he saw a tree whose leaves had fallen off. Frisk suspected that any leaves this tree attempted to grow didn't last long, and fell dead from the tree. A stale breeze rustled the leaves on the ground. As he was staring at the tree, he heard his phone ring, and started to take it out of his pocket when he saw Toriel. She noticed him too, and walked up to Frisk and begin fussing over him.

"There there, I'll heal you." She pushed magical energy towards Frisk, a glow encircling his wounds. It felt warm and safe, but it make his scrapes itch as they healed.

"There, see? All better. I'm sorry it took so long, I had to get things to surprise you-" She cut herself off. "Well, I suppose there's no hiding it any longer. Come inside." She walked towards the house and went inside. The house was situated behind the tree, and was a small brick affair. It was clean and well-kept. Seeing Toriel's house in such a nice state filled Frisk with determination. Frisk walked up the stairs leading to the door and went inside. She was waiting for him there. The smell of something delicious wafted through the doorway.

"Surprise! I baked you a butterscotch-cinnamon pie. It's too hot to eat right now, but you can have a slice in a little bit. Perhaps you should take a nap. The journey here couldn't have been easy on you. Let me show you something." She took Frisk's hand in her paw and walked to the hallway on Frisk's right. They stopped at the first door.

"This is your room now, Frisk. Why don't you go on in and make yourself comfortable?" She said, rubbing his head affectionately. Frisk really liked Toriel, from what he'd seen of her. Frisk went into the room, closing the door as he went. The room was a child's room he guessed, based on the size of the bed and the things in the room. There were boxes of dusty, unused toys sitting in a box at the foot of the bed. Frisk felt he was too old to play with many of them, and he still had a little more exploring to do. He also found a box in the corner filled with kid-size shoes. Frisk looked through them, but none of them were to his liking, so he left them alone.

Frisk went and sat on the bed. It was a nice bed, and Frisk noticed the linens were clean, lacking the layer of dust the rest of the room had. Toriel must have changed them before he got to her house. He was feeling sleepy. It had been in the middle of the night when he fell down, after all. Frisk took his shoes off and laid them next to the bed. Yawning, he got up and turned the lamp off, putting the room into darkness. He climbed under the sheets and before long was sound asleep.

When he woke, he climbed out of bed to find that there was a piece of pie on the floor in the middle of the room. He'd almost stepped on it when he walked to the lamp to turn it on so he could see. He picked the plate up, along with the fork, and ate a bite or two of it. It was really good, though it had an odd texture which caused it to dissolve in Frisk's mouth. He'd never had anything, let alone pie, dissolve like that. Still, Frisk had the pie finished before too long. Unsure of what to do with the plate, Frisk carried it with him out of the room.

Frisk padded in his socked feet back to the entryway. On the opposite side of the hallway he could see a room with Toriel sitting in a chair by a fireplace, which had a fire in it. She had reading glasses on and was reading from a book. Frisk walked towards her and she heard his soft footsteps approach.

"Oh! You're awake. You didn't sleep quite as long as I figured you would. I figured you'd be out for a couple hours at least." Frisk figured he would have slept longer too, because he felt very well rested.

Toriel noticed the empty plate in his hand. "Ah, I see you found your surprise. I hope it was good." Frisk nodded his head vigorously. "Being your first day here, I figured we'd hold off on the snail pie.” She closed her book. “I'm excited to have someone around again. I've even prepared a curriculum for your education. Believe it or not, I've always wanted to be a teacher. Getting to teach you is going to be fun!" Toriel giggled. Frisk was unsure about this. Teaching him made it sound like he was going to be staying there.

But, stay Frisk did. He stayed with Toriel for a couple days, despite growing homesickness. He did her lessons and explored the house, and played outside her house. She would never let him go farther than that. Somehow, even when he couldn't see her she would come out of seemingly nowhere and tell him he shouldn't stray so far from the house. She would also never let him go far down the stairs in the entryway of the house, only telling him to play upstairs. Frisk wondered, and was a little afraid, of what she might be hiding down there.

After the couple days past, Frisk couldn't stand it anymore. His homesickness had only grown worse as time went on. He was missing his parents, his room, his friends. The thought of them not knowing where Frisk was clawed at Frisk's mind like a restless beast, not letting him forget. He would see it in the little things, the bed not being quite the same as home, the food good but different. Toriel, astute as ever, noticed the homesickness in Frisk. She'd seen it before, and knew what it would ultimately mean. She tried hard to make their life in the Ruins as homely and hospitable as possible. Deep down, she knew it was a losing battle, though. He was clearly beginning to miss whatever he had on the surface. More dramatic measures may prove necessary to keep him safe.

On the beginning of the third day, waking up in a bed that wasn't his own, Frisk couldn't take it anymore. He put his shoes on and left the bedroom. Toriel was in her chair, reading. She always seemed to go to sleep after him, and wake up before him. She looked up at his approach. "Oh! Good morning!" She said cheerfully. "Did you sleep well? I'll cook you some breakfast, if you're hungry." She put the book down, folding her glasses up and putting them in an unseen pocket on her robe, and began to get up, but Frisk stopped her.

"Toriel, how do I leave the ruins?" He looked up at her face, which had gone steely, her posture rigid. In a flash, her expression went back to warm encouragement.

"Uh...stay here. I'll be right back. I'll cook you some breakfast once I'm done." She hurried away. Frisk hadn't seen her move that quick before. He followed, only just managing to see a flash of white going down the stairs. Seeing her reaction, Frisk decided to follow her down the stairs. He crept down the stairs, afraid for what he might find. All he saw was a long, empty hallway. Frisk walked to the end of the hallway and followed it as it turned to Frisk's left. At the end of the bend, Frisk could see Toriel standing in front of a door. There was a sense of power, like she was conjuring some very powerful magic. He approached slowly. She sensed him approaching and turned around, the sense of power fading.

"My child, return to your room. I will take care of this. I will destroy this door so no one can ever leave." Frisk continued to keep walking closer.

"Stop! Do you not understand what I'm trying to do? I'm only trying to protect you. They...Asgore...will kill you if you leave here."

Frisk continued walking until he was about ten feet from Toriel, then stopped. Toriel looked scornfully at Frisk.

"Hmph. Just like the others. If you really think that you could stand a chance, then prove it to me." Toriel summoned fireballs in her hand, holding them threateningly. Frisk took a step back at the sudden flame. He'd seen her summon fire before, but never with the intent to attack.

"This is your last chance. Go back to your room." Frisk shook his head.

"Fine. Prove yourself then!" Frisk became filled with a sense of dread, sensing what was about to start.

Toriel threw the fireballs she had in her hand towards Frisk. Frisk dove out of the way, feeling their heat as they passed close to him. Frisk began pleading for Toriel to stop. Toriel didn't appear to be listening, as she threw fireball after fireball towards Frisk. Frisk hadn't gotten particularly good at dodging yet, and eventually took a hit from one of the fireballs. It hurt Frisk, in a way that he still couldn't describe, and he felt his soul grow weaker. He'd felt this before from the other monsters he encountered in the Ruins, but none of them hurt as much as Toriel had.

Frisk continued to plea for Toriel to stop, the only response he received being another command to go back to his room. He took another hit, and he begun to fear for his life. Frisk figured she would have stopped by now, seeing how much she was hurting him. But she didn't. The fireballs kept on coming, in new patterns that Frisk struggled to dodge. He was starting to panic, and in his panicked haze he began lashing out with the small plastic knife that he'd found on his way to Toriel's house. It took him several swipes before he was able to start connecting, but once he connected he was able to land hit consistently. He was only vaguely aware of what he was doing, and it didn't immediately seem like his strikes were doing much to Toriel until he landed a hit which put a giant gash across the front of her robe. Her attacks stopped, and she fell to one knee, groaning from the injury. Her statement was through uneven breaths, struggling to breathe.

"Ugh...you're stronger than I had previously thought. My child, if you leave go and never stop walking until you reach the barrier. I pray that you'll make it safe past Asgore." She coughed, dust filling the air the air in front of her.

"My child...be good, alright?" She gave Frisk one last weak smile before she collapsed, turning to dust. Frisk saw her soul linger for a moment before cracking and shattering into pieces.

Frisk was shocked for a moment. He stood there, looking at the pile of dust that had once been Toriel. Then, the weight of what he just did came crashing down on him. He had killed. He had taken a life. He was too stricken with grief to feel the rush of his EXP increasing. Frisk dove to the ground and began picking up dust with his hand, trying to do something, anything, to bring the motherly monster back. But alas, he realized that she was truly gone. Frisk sat in her dust and began to cry. He cried harder than he ever had before, his wails filling the empty hall. He knew that he had done something truly terrible, something unforgivable. He'd killed the one person so far who had done anything to help him. The only one who'd shown him love and affection. She was so much like his mother, how could he have possibly struck? What kind of truly terrible person was he?

He sat there and mourned the loss for a while. Frisk couldn't tell how long he'd been there before the tears finally dried up. His grief had not gone away; instead it had been replaced with self-loathing. He couldn't forgive himself for killing her. How could he? How could he face his parents if they knew he killed? No, he could never face his parents, and if this world was as dangerous as Toriel implied, then there was no use in continuing. He saw the small plastic knife a few feet away where he'd dropped it. Frisk could still see the glint of that edge sharpened by his fear. Frisk, with a dead-eyed expression on his face reached over and grabbed that knife. He turned it over in his hand, examining it like the ideas running through his head.

He sat like that for several minutes, thinking about what he would do now. There was really only one thing to do. It was even more cowardly than attacking someone who loved you, even though you were a complete stranger, but Frisk felt he deserved it. He knew he deserved it. He looked at the area around him, blank carved rock offering nothing interesting to look at. It reminded Frisk of a tomb. This thought made him laugh, building from a chuckle to hysterics. The tears started to flow again, and Frisk took the knife and swung-

All he saw was red. Red, red, so much red. How could there be so much-

Frisk nearly fell over. He was standing outside Toriel's house. Frisk wondered if he'd gone to hell, given his actions, or maybe some sort of purgatory. He didn't expect either one to look like the place he'd just come from. Frisk didn't want to go back inside, to see all the memories of the dead mother. But he needed to know. Frisk, filled with dread, walked up the stairs slowly, smelling that sweet smell of Toriel's pie. Frisk nearly broke down and ran right there, but he didn't. He needed to know what had happened.

Frisk turned the corner and walked through the doorway. What he saw confirmed in his mind that he was in some kind of afterlife. He felt it was probably hell and she would get to torment him for all eternity. Toriel was standing there, just as he remembered seeing her the first time he'd walked into the house. She began to speak, but Frisk never gave her the chance. He turned and ran, taking the stairs down two at a time. Frisk heard her call after him, but he didn't stop. Frisk didn't want the ghost to catch up to him.

Even with Frisk's head start he couldn't compete with her long stride. She eventually caught up to him, and grabbed him by the waist, stopping him from running any further. She pulled him into a tight hug.

"Shhh...it's ok. You don't have anything to fear from me. I don't know why you turned and ran, but I can promise you're safe as long as you’re with me." Frisk fought her for a bit, but as she didn't harm him he stopped resisting. Not that his resisting did much good; she was much stronger than Frisk was. Frisk didn't want to run though. He wanted this to be real, that she somehow didn't die and Frisk didn't kill her. Everything in him though screamed that this was wrong. This was not how the world worked. This had to be a trick of his dying mind, or some illusion in hell that would be torn away from him shortly. But she seemed so real. Frisk grabbed her robe and began crying into it. It was all just too much for him to deal with there, so he gave up trying and succumbed to the flood of emotions.

Toriel, however, was bewildered by Frisk's actions. She hadn't done something to scare him, had she? He was perfectly fine when she left him in that room, and didn't have an issue there. Why the sudden change? Why was he suddenly so afraid of her that he would see her and run? Before he ran, she saw the expression he wore. It was an expression that was both of surprise and fear. Maybe he'd had an encounter with some of the monsters who still lived here in the Ruins, which scared the poor kid to death. If that was the case, she would find the perpetrator and make sure they were very sorry for what they had done. She was going to get down to the bottom of it somehow, but she wouldn't be able to do anything until the kid calmed down. So she picked the kid up and carried him back to her house, comforting him the whole way. The kid didn't offer any resistance, he just curled up closer to her, sobbing all the more. She took him to the kid's room, and tried to set him down in the bed, but the kid just clung on to her. So instead, she went into her room and climbed into the bed with the child, keeping herself on the outside. Before long, the kid tired himself out from crying and fell asleep nestled next to Toriel's warm body.

Frisk awoke slowly, as if he was coming out of a stupor. The bed Frisk was laying in was warm and soft. Frisk shifted around in the bed, trying to get comfortable to go back to sleep again when he realized that someone else was in the bed with him. Frisk barely remembered Toriel carrying him into her bed, and he understood that she was willing to lay there with Frisk if that's what he needed. It made Frisk hurt again. This time though, he refused to break down again. He couldn't run from this forever, but the emotions were coming back just as raw as when he went to sleep. He began to shake, as if he were cold, but he wasn't cold at all. How could he have been such a monster? Frisk stopped himself. No, he didn't deserve that title. They were all kind, attacking only out of misunderstanding unlike Frisk who lashed out in fear when he should have known better. How would-

Frisk's thoughts were interrupted by Toriel, who had evidently woken up from Frisk's shaking, which was becoming surprisingly violent. She made a small grunt as she woke up, sitting up in bed and turning to face Frisk.

"Frisk? What's the matter? Are you cold? I have more blankets if you're cold." Frisk tried to work up the courage to speak, and found enough for a short reply.

"N-n-no, I'm not c-cold."

"Then why are you shivering? Are you feeling ill?" She put her paw to Frisk's forehead, noting no evident fever.

He did, but not in the way she was thinking. "I-I'm f-fine." Frisk was starting to lose control again. He dug deep, trying to muster all the self-control he could find within himself. Toriel wordlessly began rubbing his back, trying to help him calm down.

"Is there something you would like to talk about? If it's something I've done to scare you, I sincerely apologize. I didn't mean to scare you." Toriel said, worried that she had done something to Frisk.

Her statement was like a splash of cold water to Frisk's soul, shocking him back to clarity. There was no way he was going to let her think that she of all people had done something to cause Frisk this pain. "N-no, Toriel. It wasn't you." He sat up in bed and faced her. He could see the concern for him on her face. It hurt him to see how concerned she was for him, but he found the strength to keep himself together. "Toriel, do you...r-remember anything?"

She looked quizzically at Frisk. "Remember? Remember what? Frisk, I'm afraid we haven't spent that much time together. I remember saving you from that evil creature, and leading you through some of the Ruins. I remember testing your independence and leaving you to get the supplies for your surprise. I remember seeing you at the tree, and you were fine. I remember you walking in the door and seeing me you run away, as if you were afraid of me. That's all I remember, Frisk. Why did you run from me?"

Frisk was lost and confused, this enigma letting him bury his emotions. She didn't remember anything? Had he traveled back in time? No, that would be silly, wouldn't it? However, Frisk couldn't come up with any better explanation. He was becoming quite certain that he wasn't dead anymore. Frisk's mind froze at the memory of dying. No, he can't have possibly died. That doesn't make any sense. None of this made any sense. Did he really have the power to time travel? Frisk was terrified at the thought. He then realized that he'd been sitting there pondering his newfound power and realized that Toriel was still waiting for him to answer.

"I, uh, just...thought I saw something behind you. A ghost or something like that." He lied, his voice shaky. Frisk didn't have it in him to tell Toriel what he'd actually been thinking. Plus, how do you tell someone you killed them, then mysteriously travelled back in time to before you killed them?

"Ghosts? Oh, did one really frighten you that much? I've seen them around the Ruins from time to time, and none of them seemed that scary. If you ever have a problem with a ghost, please do tell me. I'll make sure they leave you alone.” She was silent for a moment, then had an idea. “Perhaps a piece of my butterscotch-cinnamon pie might cheer you up. I'd taken it out of the oven just as you got here, so it should be cool by now. Let’s go get a piece." The two of them climbed out of bed, and walked to the kitchen where Toriel and Frisk each ate a piece of the pie.

Frisk stayed with Toriel for longer this time. He was too afraid of what would happen should he tell her again that he wanted to leave. He went through the motions as best he could, trying desperately to be a good child for Toriel. She deserved at least that much. He kept himself as busy as he could, because he found that when he was sitting idle the feelings started to creep back up. Frisk struggled to sleep, only being able to sleep in fitful bursts. He even tried sleeping with Toriel again one night, but it didn't make much of a difference.

Frisk's behavior did not go unnoticed by Toriel. Her mothering instincts told her that something was deeply bothering him. She saw it in the way that he would be a little too excited about snail facts, too happy to do extra math problems. She heard him sometimes at night, restlessly tossing around in bed. When he'd come to her room late one night and asked if he could sleep with her, she was happy to oblige. He couldn't have slept that much that night with as much as he tossed and turned. She'd questioned Frisk many times, without being too forceful, but had never gotten more than vague, evasive answers. At least he wasn't trying to leave. That was a welcome blessing in Toriel's mind.

Even that blessing wouldn't last for Toriel. By the end of the week, Frisk was beginning to go crazy, wanting desperately to see his mom. Frisk never called Toriel his mom. He felt that that title was reserved solely for his real mother. She seemed ok with it, but Frisk wanted nothing more than to see his mom again. As long as he stayed down here, he'll never see her again. So, after yet another restless night Frisk got out of bed and put his shoes on, throwing the small backpack over his shoulder. His dread built as he opened the door and walked towards the dining room.

She was sitting in her stuffed chair, reading a book. She looked up as Frisk approached. 

"Ah, good morning Frisk! I was just about to make some breakfast for myself, would you like some?"

"Toriel..." Frisk paused for a moment, bolstering his courage before continuing. "How do you leave the Ruins?"

This time Toriel seemed more or less genuinely shocked. "Leave? Why would you want to leave? This is your home now. I'd better make some breakfast for you." She got up and started to head towards the kitchen, but Frisk grabbed at her robe and stopped her.

"Toriel, how do you leave the Ruins?" Frisk said again, with a little more courage.

Her posture stiffened, and her face became unreadable. Frisk remembered a similar look the first time.

"Frisk, just stay here. I'll be right back, and when I get back I'll cook you some breakfast. I need to do something real quick." Then Toriel hurried off. Frisk wasn't concerned with following her; he already knew where she was going to go. He was too afraid of what was to come to be in a huge hurry. Still, he needed to get out of here. His parents were probably worried sick about what had become of him. Frisk walked down the stairs, through the hallway, and around the corner where he saw Toriel summoning whatever great magic she was planning on using. The sense of power faded upon Frisk's approach. She turned around to face Frisk.

"Go back upstairs. I'll be back up there shortly, I just need to destroy this door. I've held off for too long." Frisk walked a little bit closer. "Frisk this is the exit to the rest of the Underground. I need to destroy it so you can't leave. Go back upstairs, now." Her voice had turned harsh, scolding; she was serious. Frisk continued his slow approach. "Do you know what will happen to you if I let you go? They...Asgore...will kill you. I've seen it happen already to the others who left." Desperation creeped into her voice. "Don't you see that I'm just trying to protect you?"

Frisk stopped when he was about ten feet from Toriel. She sighed. "Fine. If you're so determined to leave, then prove your strength to me!" She summoned fireballs in her paws again. Frisk was prepared for this, armed with the knowledge that if he died he would probably go back to a week ago. He hoped. “Why are you looking at me like that? Are you not afraid of me?” She was afraid for a moment, before steeling herself. She threw a fireball at Frisk, as if to prove there was something to fear from her.

This time, when she threw her fireball Frisk didn't move at all, and let the fireball hit him square on. He staggered back a few steps, and Toriel couldn’t help but look shocked for a moment, which was quickly masked. She threw a few more, and these too hit Frisk. Frisk felt his soul beginning to fade. Toriel paused, trying to figure out why Frisk was not trying to dodge her attacks. In that moment, Frisk spoke.

"Toriel, I'm not going to fight you." Frisk sat down on the ground and crossed his legs and arms. Toriel then threw another fireball at him. When this one hit, he could tell that it was much weaker than the previous few. The ones that came after it were weaker and weaker, until finally the fireballs were avoiding Frisk altogether. Frisk knew he was on the edge of death, but he trusted that she would not kill him.

"Either get up and fight me, or go back upstairs!" She yelled at Frisk, throwing more useless fireballs. Frisk did nothing, just sitting there unmoving.

"Frisk, stop it! Just go back upstairs!" Anxiety creeped into her voice. She was becoming desperate. "Frisk come on. We have a good life here. I can keep you safe, and we can have each other for company. There are still so many things I still want to show you, Frisk." Frisk continued sitting. She gave up throwing fireballs altogether.

She started laughing, a cold, mirthless thing that seemed wrong coming from her. "Ha, ha. Pathetic, isn't it? I can't even save a single child." Toriel looked dejected. "No. I understand. You probably already have people on the surface who love you and are missing you right now. You would just feel trapped in these small ruins, wouldn't you?" Toriel sighed. "For you, I will put aside my hopes, my dreams...my fears. I will let you go. But I warn you; when you leave do not stop until you reach the far side of the Underground. I hope you can be this strong when you meet Asgore." 

Frisk got up off the ground, brushing his pants off. He walked over to Toriel and gave her a hug, which she crouched down to return. They stayed like that for a several seconds. Frisk realized that he would miss the motherly monster. He hoped that one day they might be able to have a relationship that would allow them both to heal. He still felt the sting of his wounds, though it was certainly less than it was initially.

Toriel pulled away from Frisk, but stayed crouched so she was at eye level with him. "Frisk, just one thing. If you leave, please don't come back. I hope you understand." The pained look in her eyes told Frisk all he needed to know. Frisk was hurt at her words, but he understood perfectly. He had completely rejected her, after all. Toriel got up and walked away. Frisk stood there watching her leave. Before turning around the corner, she stopped and looked at Frisk one last time before rounding the corner. Frisk stood there for a moment, staring at the empty corridor, wondering what was in store for him. All Frisk knew was, he would not kill again. He did not want to add to the wounds that he already carried. With his newfound resolve, Frisk turned and pushed the door open and walked out into the snow-covered forest outside.


End file.
